This is My Life......

Haiz....

For the past few days.....

i wasnt feeling well.... my head is always spinning... At first i thought it was due to lack of sleep(watching HK drama till late hours).. so i decided to sleep at 11pm for the past 2 days.. but when i wake up in the morning.. the spinnning is still there.... hmmm i wonder wat's wrong with me???? This feeling isnt like the fainting spell sydrom.. normally i'll start seeing stars then darkness surrounds me then.. boom.... i fainted.... Ya.. for those who dont know.. i have fainting spells which makes me faint without warning and recover within seconds.. BUT IT HARDLY HAPPENS>> i hope....

It has been 4 years since i know about my condition... The fainting episode started when i was in P6. but i kept quiet and not let my parents know.. dun want them to worry about me.. then one fine day, i fainted in front of my mum and brother.. they freaked out... and that freaked me too.. i broke down and thought i was gg to die... hahah silly me.. i was onli 14 then...

For the next few years, the fainting thingy still happens like once a yr.. but i didnt tell my parents.. then in 2003 when i was helping my parent with the CNY lunch. THings happen again... I saw stars and then darkness.. i walked to my sofa.. before i could reach it.. i fainted.. the next thing i knew... my brother was slapping me and shouting.. jie jie, wake up... Well i couldnt remember wat happened... my brother told me that i started jumping when i was washing the dishes.. then walked out of the kitchen.. knocked onto the standing fan and fainted.. REALLY??!! i cant remember a single thing... hehe... this caused my parent to forced me to see the doc and then the specialists... did some freaking expensive blood tests (all negative), an the tilt test (tested positive for the fainting spell). Then the specialist advised me to avoid an sudden change in body postures like stand up quickly etc... lay down when i feel that i'm gg to faint.. Well, i'm a good girl.. i listen to the doc and now the fainting spell hardly happens and i noe wat to do when i feel it coming..

Well, back to now...

argued with my dad yesterday.. haiz... y cant he just understand that watever i'm doing for him for his own good.... for his health and wallet.. yet.. haiz... then my poor brother had to listen to my grumblings.. and i threw a big tantrum on him.. well he has the best patience with me... he can take watever mean things i do to him,, like complaining non stop for hours, slapping on his back and punching him on his arm.. I will not admit that i was wrong when we quarreled and he needs to be the one to talk to me first (i sound like a evil sister rite??) Well, i used to ask him why he can take all my nonsenses. My little brother's answer melted my heart: cos u r my sister..

Sorry brother for everything that i do that were mean and hurting to u.. Thanks for being there for me when i needed.... You are a wonderful brother... Even though i noe that there is another gal u are caring too.. heheh... maybe u will not hear so much complaining from me if i can find another guy who can do as well as u....

yueN signing off.... cooling day